26, 36, 66, 86…..If Not Now, When?

Alison Winter is a trust attorney who served 35 distinguished years in multiple roles with Northern Trust; plenty of time and opportunity to witness the unintended consequences of what happens when we put off—over and over—the task of considering and writing down our wishes for the last stage of life—our final exit.

 Many years ago she created and shared an early draft of the workbook she calls Gracious Exit. It stood out then as a clear, beautifully organized way to assemble the random data and ideas, big and small, that creates what she refers to as a  gracious exit —a leaving that is well ordered and considered.

When we exit is the great unknown. My best friend died at 36; my grandmother at 96. Neither left any instructions. In both cases we ‘made up’ stories of what we supposed each would have wanted. But I still long for the kind of conversations—or at least written notes--that would have illuminated what what they might have imagined. Those would have been some juicy (ok, yes, likely also hard) revelations, but woulda/coulda brought us closer. 

Too late now. But not too late for you (or me).

Alison COULD have made her work into a commercial enterprise. Instead she has offered it up free of charge as an act of ‘paying it forward,’ a gift to all of us. There are two versions. One is a VERY basic workbook, a good practice edition—and for many ‘better than nothing!’ The other is what she calls the ‘Complicated’ edition. More thorough than complicated I would say—and an iterative exercise that one starts and finishes over weeks, months..maybe years. This too is a gift from Alison.

I don't generally offer up ‘products’ through this blog. (And I have no stake in this product—other than to pass on a good thing to people I care about). But this is an important tool everyone should have in their personal toolkit, and hope you too will pass it on.